I am honestly telling you that I had not imagined myself in this stupid situation ever in my life. I mean, yes, I have heard of such stories and have seen them in some movies, but never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that I, Alka Mishra, would fall into this trap.
I was thinking all this while walking half-naked in a dark room, trying to search for my dress and my bag. The reason why I was trying to be all quite was since, I did not want him to wake up, and also because I wanted to forget every bit of the little memory that I had of the last 3 hours. Finally, after searching for my carelessly thrown stuff in the room through the light emitted by my I phone, I gazed at his bare back. I was looking at my first, and probably the last, one night stand sleeping comfortably after doing an amazing work with me. There was a part of me that wanted to kiss him one last time before bidding adieu, but waking him would probably mean unnecessary introductions, which I did not desire. In that silent gaze I accepted the truth that this was the best night I have ever had in my 25 years of existence and even the best sex.
As soon as the last word came into my mind I wanted to kick myself and I hurried outside. It was the wee hours of the morning and nothing seemed to be working at that time. I could have called in acab but my wallet was no longer with me. It was in Sushmita’s bag. The only option now I had was to call my best friend, Mayank, to pick me up from there and drop me home. The only negativity of the plan was that he would know about my last night’s deeds, and would want to slap me hard; but desperate times need desperate measures. I was fine with the slaps, the kicks, anything if he could just get me out of this place. Taking a deep breath I dialled his number.
The first attempt was futile. He did not pick up.
As soon as I thought that the second attempt would also prove to be a failed one, thankfully the phone was picked up.
“uh….hello….” said Mayak in his sleepy, yet heavily irritated voice.
“Mayank….could you come down to Safdarjung Enclave to pick me up…” I was speaking very hesitantly.
And, as I had expected, came down the abuses.
“What the hell are you doing at 4 in the morning there…psycho” came the shooting line from Mayank.
I had to lie. There was no way I was about to tell him the truth.
“arae yaar…I had gone out yesterday to Purple, and met some of my old school friends…imagine after like 6 years or something. So we kept on talking and then went to one of my friends place, got drunk and slept there. I totally forgot that today is Monday and I have my office. So now please, it would just take 20 minutes from your place to pick me…” yes…I was begging indeed.
I was hoping that he buys my lie, and in a second, I got a positive response. He was coming over. I texted him the address and waited idiotically outside the gates of Dharma Apartments. The watchmen kept staring at me as if I was not wearing any clothes, and it was making me uncomfortable. It was 4:30 in the morning already and I could see people coming out on the road in there jogging shoes. And they too were staring. What would they be thinking about a girl wearing a micro short dress with hair all messed up and who definitely had swollen lips. I plugged in my earphones and started listening to songs to distract myself. I was hoping not to be taken as a call girl.
While waiting for Mayank to come, I started having the urge to see him one last time. I was hoping somewhere deep down to revisit the night’s passion again…with that sudden thought I saw Mayank’s car approaching and I couldn’t help myself from running towards it. Once his car stopped I sat in and closed my eyes.
Alright Alka, everything is going to end now.
‘Bitch, you asked me to pick you up this early after you had a night session with a guy….you are such a liar.’
I was shocked. How the hell did he get to know, how did he figure it out? Was I wearing a sandwich board, which said I slept with a hottie last night?
And the fact was that yes I was wearing one, except that it was not made of cardboard, but with the strained blood vessels on my neck. The stupid love bite gave my lie away. And as soon as I remembered the bite, I was taken back to the time when he was giving me one, and a shot of electricity ran through my body.
Mayank growled now.
‘How desperate are you Alka…?’
Desperate?
‘Dude, I am not desperate. Fine I slept with a guy, so what? You do it all the time?’
Mayank looked at me sternly while turning his car.
He muttered, ‘There is a big difference.’
So the big difference was the society perception of him being the boy and me the girl. So, his one night stands are acceptable, not mine. He was right. No matter how much we try to bring a revolution in this country, you cant fight and change things in one go.
There was no excuse for the one night stand I had, except that it was my desperation which had given in to me and of course lust which was all I was capable of thinking last night. The whole car journey went forward without a word spoken, except muttering his already heard lecture for the nth time that I need to be responsible.
Seriously, I am responsible. I have been living in this city for almost 6 years now; I have a stable career, I have lessened my drinking and I smoke only when it is an absolute necessary; (kill me on this last line). And, I have stopped abusing my ex for the past one year. I don’t understand how am I irresponsible? Just because I slept with someone I did not know?
How naïve Mayank!
Mayank dropped me off at my apartment, which is in close proximity to his. As soon as I entered my place all I wanted was to cry.
I allowed myself to be used again. And even though both of us did enjoy this pleasure, I was not going to forget it any time soon.
I have already mentioned about my ex. He was probably a Satan disguised as a man. I met him when I was interning during my final year at law school in Delhi. He was one of the only two interns that Sushant and Associates accepted for internship. Both of us were looking for a placement in the firm knowing that there was only one position available. We did everything possible to get the job. We worked late nights, completed work on time, tried to outdo the other. On the last day of the internship, both of us were separately called in for an interview and my hard work paid off. I got my pre-placement offer at a lakh per month.
However men with a large ego can’t really take defeat, and getting defeated by a girl is probably a disgrace for people like him. I still remember the look he gave me. I regret why I did not listen to my instincts right away and gave in to his demand for a treat.
One treat followed another, till that scoundrel proposed me. He said the three words that no one in my five years of college dared to say since I looked stern, and gave a hard time to whosoever asked me for a date. He had some effect on me, mesmerizing sorts, plus he was good looking and had a job, even if not Sushant. I gave in, and we started dating each other. In a few months we were the most romantic couple you could think of. I liked the fact that he wanted to keep things grounded as a big secret and I was ok with it. Looking back now, I should have got a hint about it at that time only, but love is soooooo blind.
After months of persuasion we took our relationship to the ‘next level’. I lost my virginity to him; probably that is why I hate him to the core.
After few months, and precisely two days before our first anniversary, I saw him making out with a girl at select city. I did not go mad. I just went up to him and he did not even acknowledge my presence. It became clear that very moment that he was just having revenge with me. I saw that girl and kept staring at the rock she was wearing. He just went off with that girl and I kept standing till it finally registered to me of what had happened. When Mayank got to know of it he wanted to beat that guy, but I stopped him, he was not worth it.
For months I kept on messaging him hateful things. Emailed and abused him. And the worst would be getting drunk and calling and crying. Even though every possible mark had gone from my body, which once bore witness to his escapades, I still can feel him all over me like a snake.
Devina Awasthi Singh
After that incident I abstained from having any relationships, boyfriends…my work became everything. Marriage would be 100% arranged with whichever psycho my parents wanted.
I allowed myself to be taken advantage of; that was probably the only reason why I would regret spending a night with my stranger. That’s it. Saying it…I did enjoy every moment in his well chapped arms.
I soon wake up from my short nap and start getting dressed for my office. I made a promise to myself not to think about last night. My office was at Barakhamba Road, thus taking a metro was the best option. If you are thinking why not buy a car instead, let me tell you I don’t know how to drive one.
Surprisingly there is no work to be done today. It is one of those boring days in office. Without any work, my mind starts wandering itself at the occurrence of last night. There was nothing cheesy about it. I was dancing at Purples with my girlfriends when I saw a stare towards me. His deep black eyes were hard to miss. I could see many girls asking for his attention, but his gaze remained on me or probably my curvaceous body.
Who cares!
It gave me quite a high that a super hot guy, almost like Ranbir Kapoor, was checking me out. I was already high on some vodka when I sat near the bar with a drink and at this time he approached me.
To be honest I don’t even remember what we talked about because the next memory I have is that we were up close dancing with each other on the floor. After a while he started throwing hints as to what he was looking for. I could not really think but I was certain enough that I liked where it was going.
Next memory: making out in his car and soon rambling on his wall. Little by little I got reminded of every step at his apartment, and with that the urge of seeing him just one more time comes inside my head. I cannot figure out why was this constantly nagging me? Of course I did not fall in love with him.
My eyes see Arhum holding hands with his girlfriend Mitali, and at this time I knew why I desired to see that stranger again; I was longing for a companion.
Yes women are complicated. One day they don’t want any one and the next day they are all longing for a man.
I reassure myself that one day my parents will find someone for me; the fact although being that they are not. Girls generally get married by my age. I agree I am not old but then most of my friends are either married or going to be, I am probably the only single person left in my group. I know I just have to tell my parents firmly to start searching for a groom for me because I am not capable of finding any one decent.
With that thought I pick up my bag, look at my boss who is busy with some work, and signal that I was leaving. At 6 in the evening it is too early to leave, but my stole, which covered my neck to hide the proof of my last night’s stint, ia prying attention from every girl working at Sushant.
I step out of my cubicle and start walking towards the reception when from the corner of my eye I see a figure. As soon as the distance reduces I know my worst nightmare has coming true. My very own personal stranger is sitting outside and waiting at the reception. His dark eyes pierce at me and he smiles.
I just close my eyes and say to myself…
…girl you are so screwed!
I mustered all the courage to step forward, and with that the red mark on my neck started burning as an automatic reaction to his gaze.
‘Hi….what are you doing here?’ I ask.
He gets up, and comes in front of me and just stares.
Finally after few brief seconds he speaks.
“Well…I need some answers…so do you want to create a scene here or shall we discuss this over coffee?” his voice is deep and irritable.
I just manage to say, “coffee”.
The trip to the coffee shop is not turning out to be romantic more even remotely likable but I was adamant that I am not going to sit quietly so I begin talking and talking beginning with the standard i have to go back home early, and that I hope ‘you don’t blackmail me’.
He just wears a poker face. The car abruptly stops …the same car which took me to his place. I try to get out of the car but the stranger was not really in the mood of hot coffee.
“So with how many men have you done this by the way?” Comes the words from his mouth.
Think Alka think……
“I asked something, Alka?”
Shit! He knows my name.
“Umm…do what…please be clear.” I try and not look at him.
“Well sleep with them and then leave them without even saying a word.”Comes the reply
“Well, then with how many women have you done this? Slept with them and did not call?” came my shooting reply…law training helps us hone our arguing skills.
“I don’t do that alright. I am decent enough to let them know what I am looking for, but never run away before they wake up…and never has a women done this to me.”
I am not prepared for all this. I dont even know what to say next.
“How did you know I work here?” this is clearly not the answer he is looking for, but this is what my mind is capable of responding.
“You blabbered a lot last night. And your workplace was one of the info you leaked.”
One of the info? God! What all does he know. Dearest vodka bitch, how could you bail me out?
He senses, I guess, that I am getting nervous, so he stops asking questions and stares at his steering wheel, looking rather annoyed. This man is reacting as if I have raped him.
Soon the girl inside me comes crying out.
“Look….i am no slut, ok? I was drunk and I was unable to handle the situation very well. I was feeling guilty of having spent a night with a man I did not even know the name of. That is why I ran off because I needed no awkwardness. The night was great but it was ordinary stuff for you and a mistake on my part.”
With tears coming out, I get out of his car and start walking towards the metro station. He is right behind me asking me to wait. I am not going to wait. I dont want to. But he gets the better of me and hold my arm and pulls me towards him. My Chin is just distance away from his mouth.
“Alka…look, I am sorry….it was not ordinary for me alright, but I am a bit hurt when you say that it was a mistake from your end. I don’t know why you think that way. I have never got this crazy in my life after I saw that you were gone. May be it was a one night stand that you regret, but for me you were the first amazing thing to have happened to me in a long time.”
The clarity of his eyes was clear. But why should I stay? What purpose will it serve? Nothing at all….
“I want this to get over alright…this was not supposed to happen…” I reply.
“Since when have things gone the way we desire them to? Let’s start afresh…hi..I am Abhay Rajpoot.”
He forwarded his hand.
I look again at his eyes, and perhaps after a long time I listened to my instincts and shook his hand. He then asks me where I stay and I do obediently answer. He offers to drop me home. Throughout the drive, he keeps on pulling my leg for all the amusing things I told him including that once I fell on a railway platform and slipped into a swimming pool wearing a sari during a wedding. Neither of us realize when the travelling hour vanished nor when my place arrives.
“Where do you leave us then?” he asked me.
I cannot deny the fact that I am attracted towards him. How things can change in a matter of 24 hours surprise me. I was blushing a lot. Where do I leave us? I know that I want to see him again with clothes on this time and continue the chatting spree. May be I want to fall in love with him? But what about the promise that no more boys? That one experience was enough for me?
The second he touches my hand I knew that I want see how things go.
Promises could go to the drains as of now.
“Well, you could take me out for dinner right now…’ I reply not losing the eye contact.
He jerks his head and the car takes a u-turn…
About the Author:
Lucknow born Devina Awasthi Singh is a talented young author. A Lawyer by profession, Devina is currently working with CPA Global. Previously she had worked with PepsiCo. Devina is an active thinker and loves creating stories in her mind. ‘Choose Me’ is Devina’s debut novel.
You can check her book:
http://www.infibeam.com/Books/choose-me-devina-awasthi-singh/9788183520959.html
Tags: Devina Awasthi Devina Awasthi Singh Devina Awasthi Singh short story Devina Singh Short story u-turn
