‘Seeking 25-40, Well- placed, Animal-Loving, Vegetarian Groom for my son (36, 5’11’’) who works with an NGO. Caste No Bar (Though Iyer preferred)’, read the unique, trailblazing and trendsetting advertisement issued by a mother wanting her child to get a companion. However, what differs this ad from the others is the fact that this mother is searching a ‘Groom’ for her ‘Son’, in a country where activists are still struggling for equal rights for homosexuals.
Mrs Padma Iyer, mother of prominent Gay Rights Activist, Harrish Iyer, approached several newspapers, but none agreed to publish it, until a Mumbai-based tabloid, Midday chose to. And as this advertisement appeared amongst the normal ones, it enticed tremendous attention, with some backing the ad, calling it trendsetting, while some hurling criticism for the caste preference mentioned in the advertisement.
Clarifying that, Iyer told the Hindu the reference to caste was not discriminatory and was done in “jest”, to sound “typical.” Those outraged by the caste reference are “missing the bigger point”.
Asked Iyer in a statement to the Hindu, “I did not reject any caste or religion. It says ‘caste no bar.’ Open up any paper in the morning and read the matrimonial ads, you see references to gotras, fair skin and such things. It’s almost like a market. But you never see anyone protest against such ads? Why get outraged because a gay man does it?”
The refusal of some newspapers for publishing the ad too, attracted a huge criticism on the social media, with words like “hypocrite” and “homophobic” being pitched.
Calling it a “brave and liberated move”, author and columnist Sreemoyee Piu Kundu told Spectralhues the mother has every right to dream equally and hope that her very successful son will find a companion of his choice.
Said Ms Kundu, “The way we look at homosexuality as something abnormal and deserving of criminal punishment. It’s about the innate hypocrisy of Indian families which is why so many homosexual men and lesbian women are forced into marriages, the most recent case being the AIIMS doctor who committed suicide, blaming her closet gay spouse.”
“It’s time more and more newspapers start publishing these ads and even matrimonial websites have specific sections where ads are placed catering to this group. It’s high time India faces up to its sexual identity crises and sheds its coyness about an individual’s sexual preferences,” she added.
LGBT rights activist, Pallav Patankar told Spectralhues, “I think the ad was cute and love harish’s mother’s spirit.”
“I think it’s an innovative method to check how business establishments react to providing a service to gay individuals. It shows how restricted gay men are in things that otherwise people have no major problems,” he added.
(cover photo courtesy: Image)
Tags: Gay Rights Harrish Iyer Mid-Day
