If you have not seen people whistle and dance along to their favourite superstar’s songs in the theatres or hoped that some stranger will lend you his hand while trying to catch a train, then you are either lying or are not a part of the big Bollywood family, yet. Though Bollywood is finally making some deep, story oriented movies and giving movies with strong messages and serious topics the appreciation and recognition they deserve, one cannot overlook the fan-base of the quintessential Bollywood movies, or as the audience calls them, ‘masala movies’.
But on looking closely, one cannot help but notice the similarities between these movies. So what is it that helps all these movies rank up those sacks full of money. Here is a list of clichés found in every Bollywood masala movie ever-
A heroic entry –
Who would go to the theatres to see a hero who cannot stand out from the sea of other actors on screen? How do you achieve that? Well, you give the hero a ‘dhasu’ entry scene, probably saving someone by beating a couple of bad guys or maybe saving his family’s honour, just a regular day in our hero’s life. This is what sets the tone for the next 2 hours and if you cannot get people to start rooting for your guy already, then how do you expect the whistles and cheers to follow later on?
A damsel in distress –
What would a hero be without a damsel in distress? She is there when the hero needs to talk about his feelings, she is there when he needs to sing a song about his undying love for her and dance in the Himalayas or even get abducted to be rescued in the climax by our very own courageous and brave hero. And when times call for extreme measures, we introduce the obviously-the-hero-will-win-her love triangle.
Unnecessarily squeezed in songs –
These are what set the movie promotions in motion and they are what one connects the movie with. They may not remember the plot in detail, but when they step outside the theatre, they definitely have at least one song stuck in their head. If you do not have a few cheesy love tracks, a soulful track, one ‘will-play-at-all-parties’ fun, peppy number and a track with seriously female-objectifying lyrics, you can give up your dreams of having a hit movie album. This is when all the whistles and cheers and dances unfold and the theatre turns into a stage where everyone is busy showcasing their own set of talents.
A tragic, life-changing incident –
If a family person isn’t killed, kidnapped, harmed or at least humiliated, how else will the hero fight of dozens of bad guys in the climactic end where he will ultimately triumph? Just when we start to think that all seems good for the leading man, something will happen that will turn his world upside down and suddenly impart the value of moral righteousness to him. This is what takes the movie forward and also marks the interval because you already might have finished all your popcorn while basking in the genius that is Bollywood.
A villain, because, OBVIOUSLY –
Every fairytale needs a good old fashioned villain, or in this case, an actor who is type-casted for playing the same generic type of ‘gunda’ or ‘mafia’. He probably has something against the hero and will hurt his family in order to get to him. Well, not him but his loyal minions will do all the dirty work for him. And he always has some catchphrase. Seriously, what would a villain be without a terrifyingly entertaining catchphrase?
The Final Showdown –
This is a very ‘all hell breaks loose’ type of a scene and the audience are brought to the edge of their seats. Yes, the fights are predictable, I mean seriously, who can get kicked, punched and shot and still come out on the top, but that does not stop the audience from clinging at the sight of their hero being hurt or cheering merrily when he saves the day. Our villain, without his army of minions is left vulnerable and this is when the hero decides to give a nice, long lecture about being right and the family values. After a few more cheesy interactions, all is well on the screen and also in our hearts. We can go home, live in peace and come back to root for the same hero, probably with a different name and cheer him on as he fights guys twice or thrice his size.
