It’s marvelous how a woman’s life can be clearly demarcated by classifying it within the ambits of before marriage and after marriage. Uncannily, female existence revolves around this singular idea of a defunct and fractured institution that our Indian society regards as sacrosanct. Somehow, every action of a woman seems to be governed by the notion of her future prospects of marriage. From birth till death, it is astounding how the perverted minds of self-appointed protectors of ‘Indian culture’ are able to reduce a woman’s identity to one focal point- marriage.
In plain terms, marriage is society’s way of telling two strangers (assuming the term marriage in the Indian context has room for only ‘arranged’ marriages) to have sex with each other, and only each other. Does that not seem odd? Pity, you can never really attack the institution in this blatant manner since patriarchs have ensured that the notions of honour, sacred, purity and duty hide the crass aim. Marriage is an inherently unequal form of imposing social and sexual control on women. Somehow, it is assumed that sex between a husband and wife is necessarily consensual. And if not, it does not matter anyway.
“It is considered that the concept of marital rape, as understood internationally, cannot be suitably applied in the Indian context due to various factors, including level of education, illiteracy, poverty, myriad social customs, and values, religious beliefs, mind-set of the society, to treat marriage as sacrosanct.” When statements like this are uttered by Rajya Sabha members in 2015, it is simply harrowing and disgraceful. When marriage is placed in the realm of the sacred which obviously although foolishly, implies a non-questioning approach towards it, matters become difficult. The only way marital rape can be recognized as a criminal and punishable offence is when the cloak of sacred under which marriage is carefully protected is torn apart by logic and rationality. The elevated social status enjoyed by this paralysed institution needs to be countered with practicality and the principles of justice and equality.
Bertrand Russell in his book Marriage and Morals wrote “Marriage for a woman is the commonest mode of livelihood, and the total amount of undesired sex endured by women is probably greater than in prostitution.” The need to recognize that a woman’s consent is required when it comes to the sexual relationship with her husband is the first step towards combating this injustice. The male gaze which views women as merely sex objects and marriage as a licence to have unrestrained, non-consensual, and even unnatural sex with her is a deep rooted patriarchal notion which disallows women any right to protect themselves from this kind of sexual violence.
If women do not have proper legal aid and provisions to shield themselves from such atrocities then it is a violation of basic human rights to freedom of choice and will. Section 375 of the Indian Penal Code must include marital rape within its purview in order to make criminal laws gender neutral. If martial rape is not another ugly demonstration of male
hegemony over the female body then what is it? If the law is unable to provide protection to women then who will? Until and unless this gross reality is accepted as a part of our existence that cries for reform, we cannot function as a healthy society. The entrenched system of female injustice which seems to take effect even before she is born needs to be perpetually countered with sound intellectual arguments that shake the hollow, shallow and narrow basis of its existence.
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Tags: india Marital rape Marriage and rape Rape
